Writers block has consumed me but my thoughts have been relentless. I let myself get wrapped up in the ideology of “if you don’t have something positive to say, then don’t say anything at all”.
Well, the truth is, the truth isn’t always positive. Sometimes the truth is just down right contrary to popular demand. If you’re searching for answers sometimes you have to look in places that were long since forgotten. You have to get out of your comfort zone and you have to get your hands dirty. I am now long over due for a manicure.
I’m not feeling negative but some might think it’s cynical. I’m not unhappy but some might think it’s gloomy. I can’t always cater to the masses and periodically I have to engage in the I syndrome so I can get clear.
2012 is almost upon us and while I am not entirely sure I support the notion of making resolutions I feel the need to get a jump start on some more spiritual awakening. The order of the day: anything raw.
raw: (of an emotion or quality) strong and undisguised; frank and realistic in the depiction of unpleasant facts or situations.
If I don’t come out from behind my own sense of moral imperfections I am not making progress. If I keep altering what I say for fear of what people might think, I am being a hypocrite.
Since I honestly believe that I am not the only one on this version of a journey maybe I owe it to all of us to stop hiding. Alienating myself has helped me make some changes but how strong am I if I don’t test the waters? What is there to be afraid of? I might fall? I might not.
I’ve been lost in the notion of what I am supposed say and I let my thoughts keep me from writing. I’m not on a crusade. I’m just trying to figure out my truths. I am trying to unwrap another kind of present. It’s time to turn the tangled up ribbon of the past into a bow, and while that can get messy when you have a lot of ribbon, aren’t we worth it?