Taking stock of what you say can be more important than taking inventory of what you have. Are you replaying the broken record over and over in your mind? Where are you getting your information? Haven’t you heard? You shouldn’t believe half of what you think.
You should also only believe half of what you see and almost none of what you hear. Everyone has an opinion. The problem is everyones judgments are based on their own lack of experience. Most people are very knowledgable in one area. They went to school on a subject or they took a job right out of college and they became an expert at whatever their job description was.
Is life so hard that you would so easily give up on yourself and not see the rest of your potential? Are you so blinded by grief that you will believe and feed into whatever negative rubbish your neighbor wants to inflict on you because of their own lack and fears?
Being a late bloomer I’ve spent most of my life in struggle. Self inflicted struggle caused by making the wrong decisions and not knowing enough. My life has been trial and error but never without lessons. What I have learned is not to listen to the wrong people. Never turn your back on what your heart feels and giving up is not an option.
I’ve had two very interesting exchanges in the last two years with two different people I thought were my friends. I learned valuable lessons in both exchanges and I walked away a better person for it. In the first instance, I had a friend tell me “What, you can’t come down off your high horse for one second?” and the second lesson came when a dear friend of mine said, “You act like a producer all the time. You treat everyone like they work for you.” Now mind you, in the second instance the fight occurred after I hired this person to be an actress in a very important personal project of mine.
The first friend I walked away from. Haven’t hung out with her since. I saw the humor in the exchange and moved on. The second friend and I are still friends but I gained something that day I have never let go of. A proud sense of accomplishment and self-respect. I realized that I had changed. I wasn’t treating anyone any differently or talking to anyone in any other tone then I always have. On the contrary, my trying to help my friends backfired on me. I had improved my social standing and maybe they weren’t ready to accept that.
I learned that when it’s time to change sometimes it’s also time to say good-bye. You can only do, say, suggest, and advise so much, then you have to walk away and let people figure things out on their own. Sometimes they never do. But it’s not your responsibility. You are your responsibility.
I have another friend that has been helping me get a business off the ground. I’ve known him since I was fourteen years old. He is one of the most talented people I know on many levels but he is also one of the most negative and downright self-deprecating people I know. I don’t understand what happen to him. The years beat him down and he let them. When I try to encourage him he calls me Tony Robbins and brands it a lecture. I realize how stuck he is and there is nothing I can do or say that will change it. Even me being living proof to the contrary, it’s lost on him. I had to make the conscious decision this week to stop making suggestions and to only talk about the task at hand. If he starts to go on a negative tangent about something someone told him that becomes proof to him that it can’t happen, I will gracefully change the subject.
My friend that called me “a Producer” as if it were a derogatory thing instead of a huge accomplishment is still my friend because we have been through so much over the years and she has also on many occasions given me amazing advise. I also inherently respect her work ethic and her tenacity. She was the first person in my life that I actually learned from and I am grateful for the teachings. Her friendship has helped me strive for greater. She told me once, “You don’t ever want to be with a guy that can’t give you more than you can give yourself”. That really stuck with me.
But now I am realizing a much larger spectrum of this statement. It’s the same philosophy in sports. You want to become a better tennis player you pursue a game with someone who is a better tennis player than you. And so it is in life. You want to become successful and rise above your circumstance find people who are where you want to go and start hanging out with them.
You want to be CEO, go to an office and ask if you can interview the executives. You want to be an actor, take every workshop you can and practice, practice, practice. You want to be an Entrepreneur, go to seminars and take classes.
There is a wealth of information at our disposal. You must Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway!* It is never too late and you are never too old. Don’t let others ignorance and limiting beliefs hold you back. Rise above the pack and make your own rules, set your own sights on greatness and it will be rewarded. Don’t ever give up on your hopes and dreams. Just be prepared to revamp them a little. A dream is only a dream if you don’t write them down. Make your plan of action and then get started implementing your strategies and objectives. Before you know it, your dream will have become a business.
“Whether you think you can, or you think you can’t–you’re right.”
~ Henry Ford
*Author, Susan Jefferies (http://www.susanjeffers.com)
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