This week I hit over 50,000 views at my new .com address and with almost 40,000 on the old blog spot address, I am soon to reach 100,000. That’s a lot of visitors over many days, and many entries and it’s been quite the ride. Thank you.
For those of you who have been with me the whole time, you know that I have been working on my first novel for what seems like forever. It’s why I started writing this blog in the first place. But while the two entities have grown apart, I kept the original name of the book out of some nostalgic connection to the journey. It’s been a long one.
A work in progress and ever changing over the years I think I’m finally getting there. I recently finished the first draft of my novel being told in the 3rd person. While I work to add 40 more pages, I share with you the prologue in hopes of some good ole fashion honest feedback… Please let me know what you think… (use the comments button at the bottom)
Life With One Eye Open
An Angel Guided Tale
© 2012 by Pepper Carlson
WGA Registration #1581040
Prologue
A doppelgänger (pronounced [ˈdɔpəlˌgɛŋɐ]) is a palpable double of a person (living) in culture, folklore and fiction. In colloquial language, the word doppelgänger has come to refer (as in German “doppelt(e)”) to a persons double or look-alike.
While doppelgängers are often perceived as evil, (I promise I am not evil) the word is also used to describe the awareness of having glimpsed oneself in peripheral vision.
In Norse mythology, we are perceived as a ghostly double (vardøger) who precedes a living person and is seen carrying out their actions in advance. What you may know commonly as déjà vu.
The literal translation of doppelgänger is “double walker”, like a look-a-like, or a twin. That’s me. The Twin.
Since being separated at birth by death, I wasn’t the cause of the disarray of affairs, our parents were, but I feel compelled with necessary obligation to tell the story since I got out and she got left behind.
After spending a long nine months in each other’s arms, overhearing the downward spiral of the world we were about to enter I just knew I wasn’t going to make it. The accusations were fierce and the depleted sense of desolation pumping through our mother’s veins was suffocating. There could only be enough breath for one of us, and truth be told, I knew she was the stronger one.
As much as I knew that my time to see this life would be taken from me, I knew my never knowing life would be necessary for my Doppelganger to be able to fulfill her life’s purpose.
Personally, it happened quickly and painlessly. I had a vision of laying in my own proverbial gutter. I could feel the dirty musty water against my face and I could smell every bad thing that would ever happen to me wafting out of that water. Paralyzed as the gutter held me down with a ratchet strap grip, I tried to wiggle free but I couldn’t move.
It was over before it began. I wasn’t even sure when I stopped breathing. So I gave in to that moment of terrorized paralysis and whatever higher power would take me. In a silent whisper I asked for help. I truly and unconditionally prayed for my own redemption for giving up, but mostly for my Doppelganger Twin who was about to enter the combat zone.
You see, fearing everyone and trusting no one, my Twin would become a quintessential representative of a misplaced youth. The indelible footprints of her questioning would leave her intent on figuring out a way to sever the umbilical cord and I had to find a way to help her.
The answer came promptly and clearly; with my last breath came the gift of ageless wisdom and Divine intelligence and my intellect was telling me I had to send for reinforcements.
I would need assistance in a big way. I needed Angels. And I don’t mean just any kind of Angels. I mean the Guardian Angel of Archangel proportions kind of Angels that you only ever read about.
I had no sooner thought it, that they appeared to me. I explained the severity of the situation. They assured me they knew all about it and they knew all along they would be called upon. They had been waiting patiently for the birth of this particular Doppelganger and they were prepared to see her through.
They also warned me, “You can not interfere. There will be times when you will want to turn your head and cover your eyes, so just do it. Look away and trust that we will hold her through the most arduous of times. Be prepared that in your connection with her there will be times when you feel what she feels and it won’t feel it good. There will be times when you will want to grab her and take cover but you can’t. Also know there will be many times when she will know laughter but that isn’t what this story is about.”
At the time I had no idea what they meant, but boy would I learn soon enough, they so weren’t kidding.
Using poetry as a conduit, their messages to her were far from ambiguous. Throughout my Twins evolution the poetry spoke of the possibilities of rising above it all but she didn’t know enough and regrettably, poets write from a place of anguish so my Doppelganger Twin would have to succumb to the never ending invitations of do or die.
Young and naïve and lost in the self-pity of the process, the lessons their words were trying to teach her would be lost on her. But it seems only fitting that I include the poems here, unscathed, intertwined in her story and dated by human age.
“What does one do when they wake from a dream and they’re crying? The tears of a life unattended. A missed encore. A curtain bow. The orchestra. Sight for sore eyes and a mystery wink. You will not look back in sorrow or in pain you will look to the future and how bright it is. You are beautiful and worthy and you will take one step at a time. You will spend your time in love and prosper. Be wise in your decisions and count your blessings. Let us, your Guardian Angels, show you how to walk. Greet everyday with love in your heart. Listen to your life and heed its suggestions, prompts, and warnings. We will assist you. We will never leave your side. Listen well to your heart, your body and your soul; our messages will reside there. Trust the flow of life and welcome change. Dream of beauty and love and passion… We shall help you set out to break the lineage of your past”. Age 2
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